ESPN football analyst and former NFL player Robert Smith shares his story on alcoholism.
He is very candid and talks about the need to admit you have a problem and do whatever it takes to get sober.
Robert Smith on his Alcoholism
Reply
Tag Archives: recovery
Boundaries
Having boundaries is a significant sign of having a good healthy self. If I feel good about myself, then I want to associate with people who keep that good feeling going. However, if I don’t feel good about myself, I may allow people to treat me badly, and as a result feel bad.
Here is a list of behaviors that demonstrate unhealthy boundaries. Identify which one(s) you do, and identify:
1) the origin of the behavior
2) how the behavior has effected you
3)what you can do the change you behavior
feel free to comment on this list
The Fight
Let’s go to ringside to our announcer for this world title fight.
“This fight is between Mary and the Disease. Now Disease is a heavy favorite to win this fight based upon its long history of defeating opponents. Mary is a game challenger with lots of desire to win this fight and claim the title.
Round 1: Disease starts off slow examining Mary’s weaknesses. Throws a short punch. Mary winces in pain. Disease throws another punch producing more pain. Disease is smiling. Mary attempts to return the punch. Disease laughs and smiles and says “is that all you got”? Mary is demoralized and feels bad. Disease goes for the knockout. Mary is rocked. The bell rings ending round one. Family and friends watching the fight at ringside are shocked and upset.
Round 2: Mary starts off strong. Throws a few punches to gain an advantage over Disease. Disease continues to smile and mock Mary. Disease throws punch after punch after punch. Mary has no response. In fact, she has no defense for the Disease. She is getting weaker, more defeated looking, and on the verge of going down. Disease throws a solid right-left combination. Mary goes down! She barely gets up as beats the bell sounds ending round 2.”
In the corner after round 2, the ringside doctor comes and looks at Mary. The doctor says to Mary “ you need treatment”. Mary argues at first, and reluctantly agrees.
Round 3 “ Mary starts slowly. She is still sluggish after the last round. She doesn’t know if the treatment will help. Disease jabs, and continues to jab. Mary ducks one jab, and fires back. The crowd roars. Disease again jabs continues to score with more jabs. Mary weaves past the jab and fires back a left-right combination, follows back with a jab of her own. Disease, for the first time in this fight, takes a step back. The round ends. All family and friends give Mary a standing ovation for her fight.
Round 4 Mary, with renewed confidence and strength, starts the round off strongly firing a series of jabs and straight right hands to Disease. Disease flinches a little, and fires back a solid one-two punch. Mary takes the punch rolls to the left and counters the one-two with a ferocious uppercut. Disease is wobbly. Mary fires a 3 punch combination. Disease is wobbly again. Another 3 punch combination and Disease goes down!!!! ….. Disease get up. The round ends. Mary is winning the fight!!! The crowd is electric with chants of Mary, Mary, Mary!!!”
Between rounds Mary is excited by her progress, she sees that she is beating the Disease. Her confidence is growing. She knows that she’s going to be ok.
Round 5 “ Disease slowly walks to the ring and throws out a lazy jab. Mary counters with a strong left. Mary throws a good 2 punch combination. Mary looks strong. Disease fakes a right, throws a left. The punch seems to stagger Mary. Mary comes forward throws a beautiful hook that hits Disease. Disease nods in acknowledgment. Disease comes back fakes a right again, and throws a viscous left hook, followed by a right uppercut. Mary is wobbly. An overhand right by Disease ends round 5. Mary looks shaken.
Round 6 Disease comes out strong and confident. Mary is still wobbly after the last round. Disease goes out to end this fight. Throws a 4 punch combination and then throws another 3 punch combination. Mary has no defense for these punches. Mary tries to counter. Her punches have no snap to them. Disease fires an uppercut straight up the middle. Mary goes down!!!! Her family and friends yell ‘get up’. Mary gets up barely beating the count.”
In Mary’s corner, Mary says ”I want to keep fighting this fight I can win” .The corner people aren’t sure if they should let Mary go out for another round. The doctor examines Mary and says either start treatment again or this fight is over. Mary says Ok to treatment.
Round 7 “Disease is very confident. Starts strong. Throws 3 jabs. Mary takes all 3 without responding. Mary throws a weak looking hook. Family and friends at ringside look worried. Disease smiles and throws a solid one-two. Disease misses an uppercut that would have ended the fight. Mary finds her footing. Throws 3 solid punches. Disease fires back with 3 more jabs. Mary throws a right hook followed by a jab. Mary looks exhausted. The bell sounds ending round 7.
Round 8 “This is the final round of the fight. Mary is tired. Disease looks strong. Mary starts off first and throws a powerful jab. She follows with a left hook that seems to hurt Disease. Disease throws a counter right hand that hurts Mary. Both fighters are weary after this grueling fight. Mary has a determined look in her eye. She’s aware that on the scorecards, she may be losing this fight. She gamely throws punches, one, two, three punch combination, that rocks Disease. Another solid jab that pushes Disease back. Disease comes back with with a brutal left hook that rocks Mary. Mary is wincing from that shot. Her legs are wobbly, her brain is fuzzy. She wants to win the fight, but her body is fighting her. Family and friends at ringside are cheering loudly. The bell sounds ending the fight”
Mary was a game competitor in this fight. It may be her last one. We don’t know how much damage all those punches took out of her. Disease took some punishment but we know that Disease will always be back for another fight. The decision is in the hands of the judges.
Dedicated to a special person fighting perhaps her last fight
Stay sober and beat your addiction with a few simple lifestyle changes
Here is a piece that I wrote for the Expert Beacon website:
Feel free to share this with people in need of getting sober
Roger Ebert
Roger Ebert a long time movie reviewer with Chicago Sun-Times died yesterday after a long battle with cancer.
Roger was also a recovering alcoholic who in August 2009 told his story about his recovery. His blog should be titled “AA 101” because he tells about how AA works from his own perspective. There are AA program related materials as well as you tube videos that accurately describe alcoholism and recovery in movies.
Read the blog here
Dual Diagnosis
Chalk Talk
Here is a rehab standard, and oldie but goodie done by the late Father Joseph Martin. In this 1 hour plus video, he explains alcoholism, the consequences and effects of drinking,and recovery. The presentation in done is his humorous and straightforward way.
For more information the rehab in his name, Father Martin’s Ashley click here
Change
Although I’ve never asked these questions to my clients as poignantly as Tracy Chapman does in this song, the question is always about change. How much pain do you need to change? If you knew how much better things would be, would you change?
Change is possible
We have met the enemy and it is us
The original concept behind a week in the life was to identify a common theme that occurred in my office and write about it. It was to be a kind of therapy diary—an opportunity to share my ideas with others. This topic goes back to the roots of the idea.
Many times people coming into therapy are upset with others around them–their spouses, employers, kids, family members, etc. Their anger, hurt, sadness, and fear is directed to those people, and how they have been treated unfairly. There have been people that I have seen over the years in which that’s all we talked about. For them, it’s what they needed – a chance to vent these feelings without carrying them around. This was helpful because it improved the quality of their life. Recently, a bunch of people have come in and have stated the standard “they are doing this to me” etc. However, in the session, something remarkable occurred. These people stated that they were responsible for other people’s reactions to them!!! They were asking “What role do I play in this?” “How have I contributed to my own unhappiness?” “What do I have to do to be better?”
It is exactly:
It’s amazing to me when this occurs–particularly with people who are coming to therapy for the first time. To have an insight like this is something that happens later in the therapy process. It is an “acquired taste”, which usually develops after the emotionality has decreased. For these new therapy entrants to ask the very insightful “what role do I play in this?” was very exciting and very energizing. It’s a statement of I want to work on ME– on my pain, on my issues.
The most interesting part of their insights was that it happened several times in the week. These were all different people with different sets of issues. I asked the very same question–”What’s my role in this?” I was probably more stumped than they were!!! Had I magically transformed my therapeutic skill to be able to direct people to insightful declarations earlier in therapy. Had I done something differently with these people than I have done over 26 years of being a therapist? Was this a function of too much snow in NJ in the months of January and February?
My conclusion to this stumper of a question was my belief in the power of change. People will change: when they are ready to change, have the right ingredients for change, and have the motivation for change. That was my role in this–I produced some of the right ingredients for the change process. People felt safe and not judged. They felt that they could open up and probe into themselves. They felt validated and understood. They were able to handle a little therapeutic “nudging” to push them a little further. Therapy is like a good recipe–the tastiness of the dish is not brought about by doing the exact same thing over and over. The tastiness occurs by adding a little of this or taking out a little of that. The end result is a good tasting meal. I’m going to keep “cooking” with my clients each and every session to keep making tasty dishes of change.