Rules For Fair Fighting

• Speaking one at a time
• Looking for compromises
• Trying not to generalize
• Allowing for time-outs and breathers
• Observing rules that you set
• No forcing, No hitting, No threats
• Showing personal respect
• Being honest with yourself and them
• Giving your reasons
• Admitting when you are wrong
• Allowing equal time to speak

Unfair Behavior:

• Name calling
• Opening old wounds, dredging up the past
• Intimidating, coercing or threatening
• Changing the rules and not saying so
• Expecting there to be a winner and a loser
• Saving up gripes to dump them all at once
• Reading the other’s mind
• Denying the facts
• Using sex as leverage
• Using violence of any kind
• Appearing to ignore your partner