Apology and Forgiveness by Case (2005)
One of the most important aspect of dealing with the hurt that a loved one cause is the process of forgiveness. How does a person forgive? How does a person apologize? Here are some guidelines to help.
The Process of Forgiving
- Recognizing/acknowledging the injustice(s)
- Choosing forgiveness as an option
- Getting in touch with feelings of hurt/anger
- Expressing the feelings in non-hurtful ways
- Gaining insights which allow for self-protection
- Gaining insights which allow you to focus on the behavior, not the person
- Recognizing your own role in the “bigger picture” of hurtful behaviors in the relationship
- Using new information to change how you view and treat the hurtful person
- The overt act of forgiveness and restoration of love and trust
The Process of Apology
- Acknowledge what you did to hurt/offend him/her
- Learn how what you did impacted him/her and express an understanding of that impact
- Make restitution where needed and possible
- Learn how and why you did what you did, and share understanding with other person
- Identify and show your plan of action to not repeat hurtful behavior
- Overtly apologize and ask for forgiveness
- Follow Through!
If you follow these steps, in time, your hurt and pain will be reduced.